To Whom it May Concern,

I can think of a million things this world needs and it’s funny, but none of them include your negativity. 

It’s something I’ve been thinking about a lot lately, and something I’ve been actively working on consistently as well. I’ve struggled with it most of my life, so I get it. You feel as if the world doesn’t see you how you’d like to be seen, so you beat everyone else down in the hopes that it makes them see you in a more flattering light. It doesn’t work like that. Someone else’s bright light doesn’t dim yours. As a matter of fact, putting the spotlight on others without downplaying their successes only makes you more awesome.

Be yourself. Don’t try to be this person that you’re not. Own your faults. Own your mistakes. I am not everything I want to be, and sometimes I fail really bad. Pretending you don’t make mistakes doesn’t eradicate their existence. Owning up to them makes you a better person, gives you common ground with others, and allows you to learn from them. Also, there’s a big difference between being confident in your skills and being cocky. Don’t ignore your successes, be so proud of them, but don’t think that you’re better than someone because of what you’ve achieved.

Make real human connections. Not the kind that come from making fun of something to make someone laugh. That used to be the only way I knew how to make conversation with someone I didn’t know. Talk about real things, and I think you’ll find it’s much more fulfilling than talking just to talk, or talking just to talk shit. Get to know the people you interact with instead of just trying to make yourself seem a certain way through their eyes. I promise you have way less control over how someone views you than you think. What is the meaning of life if not to make meaningful connections with the people we share this earth with? It’s all about even energy exchange. If you want someone to be interested in you, be interested in them.

Soften, soften, soften. Be vulnerable. You don’t always have to be so hard. On yourself, on others. Have compassion and empathy. Stop acting like things don’t affect you. Talk about your thoughts and feelings. It is not dishonorable to admit that you have real human feelings inside that brain of yours. In fact it makes you 10,000 times more approachable and pleasant to be around.

Stop judging everything based on your limited scope of vision. Everyone has a backstory that’s probably much longer and complicated than you can even imagine, and even if it’s not you have to know that they are doing the best with what they have and know. If something or someone is not for you, learn that you can leave it without making a big deal out of it or trying to make them look bad. Protect your energy at all costs.

I don’t want to be negative by writing this, I just want to urge you to soften up a little bit. Your secret conversations about people you don’t like, arrogance, shit talking about things you don’t agree with, hardness towards things you don’t understand and refusal to accept things not meant for you are not making you a better person. They aren’t making you more fun to be around, and they definitely aren’t fooling anyone. Be real in a world of fake news. If there’s anything this world needs, it’s more people who are unapologetically themselves, more people supporting their friends dreams, and more people who refuse to invite more negativity into the world.

Soften, soften, soften.

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